a smallpox vaccine scar is like a lower back tattoo.
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
Dude...that line about her giving me a blowjob to get rid of her hangover actually got rid of her hangover. Spread the word.
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
I mean seriously there comes a time when you just need to take a crap in peace. Until he figures that out he can stay the hell outta my place.
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
Also I’m on 3%. Just Incase.. I miss you and I love you and you’re my everything and I’m getting drunk.
I just puked in a chili’s bathroom... happy birthday to me
I just had mom give me advice about how and where to store my lube in my shower. It was super awkward. Of course, she also walked in on me masturbating once so I guess turnabout is fair play
Randomize