some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
Woke up with a chicken parm sandwich in my clutch. Aaaand I'm eating it.
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
when they cut me off i played the entire Justin Bieber playlist and left for another bar that didn't think i'd had enough to drink
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
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