This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
He just reenacted his orgasm in front of my roommates....using a squeeze bottle of mayonnaise.
I didn't hate myself when I woke up today, that's improvement right?
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
I love how my phone automatically capitalizes Margarita. R-e-s-p-e-c-t.
guy at the bar just asked how many cows we have on our land, then proceeds to ask me out. you know your from the country when....
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
Randomize
