at some point when you're making out with the ex girlfriend of your ex fuck buddy who happens to be the ex boyfriend of the girl that you just got drunk with who was hitting on your current fuck buddy who is best friends with your ex boyfriend, it just hits you: oh my god i need to get out more and expand my social circle.
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
I'm thinking of writing "I have herpes" on my stomach in sharpie that way I'm not tempted to show my tits tonight
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
Don't freak out about the couches in the driveway. We tried to unpack the uhaul drunk.
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
Wine and a Lunchable. That would be depressing if it wasn't the pepperoni and mozzarella one. Those are the shit!
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
Randomize
