Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
My friend's 9-year-old son just informed me that for a cop station, you can't use a shotgun; you have to use a machine gun. Thank you, Grand Theft Auto, for single-handedly corrupting our youth.
The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
best line ever after sex today..."wow, that was a porn-star sized load"
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
there is nothing like a happy birthday present when you wake up with a bow on your vagina.
Gonna bang his former student. Clearly I am winning this breakup.
we had a ceremony where you passed your fake id onto me in the middle of the bar. i was on my knees and you presented it to me. i don't think the bartenders were suspicious though
I'm not judging you. Just know that you could be Queen of The World. Instead you're 5:28 p.m ponging. I hope you're at least winning
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
Randomize
