No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
He wanted a quickie. I said, can I play doodle jump on my iPhone during? And that's exactly how it went.
woke up this morning with pubes superglued to my face, not my pubes
as if moving home wasnt embarassing enough, mom picked up my laundry while i was gone. guess who needs to find a new hiding spot for his cum towel..this guy.
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
Well today was Thanksgiving Anti-Miracle Daydrinkathon so I had to be drunk by 2pm
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
if I see a bottle of vodka right now I'll probably throw up gum I swallowed when I was a kid
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
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