Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
i knew i liked her after she chugged tequila, fell down the stairs and said "oh dont worry i knew it'd be faster this way"
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
Dudeeeee, i ordered strippers for my party.
I ordered a moonbounce.
Fuck, you win.
Don't text me when you know I'm doing lines on my phone
I'm doing shots of crown out of a baby bottle. My friends are sensational parents.
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
Just finished putting caution tape around the tv. Sober me needs to prepare.
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
And that was the night we had mind-blowing sex with the score from Raiders of the Lost Ark blaring on vinyl in the background...
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
Randomize
