in hindsight, drinking 2 bottles of wine probably wasnt going to put me in an optimal position for a job interview
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
I received a letter in the mail from my ex equipped with a used condom,dirt, some hair, and a nude portrait of myself.
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
You're 31, how do you still outdrink all these college kids?
Practice, Irish genes, and a lack of desire to live past 40. But mostly practice.
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
Watching Rudolph while stoned is practically a religious experience.
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
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