Dude why does my asshole itch so bad?
I'll teach you how to wipe better
turns out they were just sand fleas, not crabs.. thank you random mexican girl from padre who's name i can't pronounce
I just miserably failed my own drug test. At least I know what a positive will look like when I give them to the employees tomorrow.
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
You insisted on squirting shots of captain morgan in your mouth with a turkey baster by like 930.
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
I flushed a potato down the toilet so now we have to live in a hotel.
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