He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
You wouldn't be the first friend to shit himself in the last 7 days
He gave me a card that said "I'm so glad we found each other... In the pants" and a pat on the head... My walk of Shame wasn't so bad.
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
Being drunk is way better. Seriously, I just licked your brother to make sure my spit was actually real.
My day in three words: secret purse cake
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
The real estate's complaint had the words "loud squealing at 2am" in it. Then I remembered that was me spoon feeding you guys old potato salad while you screeched like baby birds. Great night.
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
Randomize
