Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
The pickup line "You look exactly like my sister" would only work in Arkansas...SCORE!!
I'm doing shots of crown out of a baby bottle. My friends are sensational parents.
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
I just stole a cupcake from somebody's bottle service
And I got $4 when somebody made it rain.
I will come to your office dressed as a bloody mary, hug you then leave is that a good plan?
yes. bring a barf bucket too. just. in. case.
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
No dude I got way too drunk to function. 90% sure I tried to FaceTime 911.
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
I cannot be with a girl who won't let me come home on my lunch break, eat spicy ranch and watch Breaking Bad without pants on. #lesbianproblems
First thing that comes on in the morning is kanye's I can't hold my liquor. yeezus lives.
Drake has all the answers
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