I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
Some guy just watched me feed 30 dimes and 3 quarters for bread and cheese at the self checkout at walmart. I no longer comprehend shame...
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
When the tupperware hit the highway it was like a vomit bomb
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
My picture of a beer can in a McDonalds cup full of ice got more likes than my relationship with her. Is beer THAT much better than monogamy?
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
I know you're very busy with sleep and things, but when you wake up we need to talk about weirdly shaped penises.
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
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