How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
you know your drunk when 7 soccer players cant catch up to a tranny in high heels who just stole your wallet
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
this girl im hooking up with thought my ring was a purity ring... apparently im taking it too slow
You'd think after all these years of evolution that it would be longer than a golf pencil.
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
The bartender asked if I wanted a to-go cup for my crown and coke.....I just realized I'm back in Montana and fuck did I miss home.
I made him say "i realize i'm cheating on my girlfriend" five times aloud before i would hook up with him. Somehow that has to lessen my bad karma
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
Randomize
