oh man you're gonna hate me when you log onto facebook. remember i love you
woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
turns out a healthy dose of cleavage is the equivalent of a swig of felix felicis
i just made my gag reflex go away.
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
Tinder in Coventry is like browsing a gallery of mugshots from Azkaban
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
If you find me in the bathroom in a fetal position, licking frozen bacon .. I might have Drank a little too much.
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
Randomize
