Con: they had to cauterize my wound twice. Pro: The docs agreed I'll be able to get really drunk tonight since I've lost so much blood.
sound pretty economical
Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
My dog fell asleep in his puke last night. He's only 5 weeks old and has more in common with my friends than I do.
i just googled "alcohol delivery service". im combating drunk driving one lazy act a time.
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
G&T. Gin and tonic. GIN AND TONIC. GIN AND TONIC AND FUCKING LIME
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
Randomize
