Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
She just asked to stimulate my prostate, man law requires you come pick me up
Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
This lady in my dui class just asked what patron was. I feel like she doesn't belong here
Even after projectile vomiting watermelon on the beach, it still sounds appetizing.
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
Welp, dad and I drunkenly sang Christmas carols until the police told us to stop. I vote Xmas eve a success
TIL a potato cannon can be loaded with dildos as ammunition. Boy, do our neighbours love us!
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
I'm at the level of despair that only Panda Express can fix
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
Randomize
