come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
Easy Mac is falling out of my sweatshirt as I'm walking down the street.
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
Who the hell poured a whole pouch of Capri Sun down my throat last night?
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
Using a miniature baseball bat to kill a mosquito in the house may not have been the most efficient or safest way, but that thing is fucking dead. However, so are three wine glasses, a lamp, and my baseball bat privileges. Worth it.
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
Randomize
