Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
He bought me Ben & Jerrys and then apologized for the fact that he was going to fall asleep before we could have sex
Pretending to leave a voicemail when the person answers the phone....that's gotta be drunk dial level 99
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
There's a guy masturbating in front of Sephora right now
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
Randomize
