I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
I wish I had my own personal Asian lady that lived under my bed so that she could wax my eyebrows and give me a pedicure whenever I wanted.
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
Drunk me obviously wants to fuck up my life
It's like I have an arch nemesis, and it's me
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
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