Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
it's great music for shaving your balls
I'm drinking with 3 chicks and 1 gay dude. 100% chance I'm getting laid and 75% chance I'll enjoy it.
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
No one likes a giant penis on their phone screen. I mean cmon. I'm a lady.
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
my balls were so many shades of blue last night I could have used them as paint and replicated the entirety of Picaso's blue period. The girl was an art major I feel like this metaphor is appropriate.
Also, next time I go get a wax, I'm gonna ask the girl about the innie to outie ratio she sees on the daily.
I feel like I should send her I'm sorry I've been fucking your boyfriend flowers.
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
Randomize
