so I told him I hadn't been laid since Bush was president. Right after he cums, he says "Welcome to the Obama Administration".
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
in retrospect, i probably shouldn't have referred to his dick as "travel size"
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
Helped an old lady on crutches throw away her mcdonalds, carried her stuff to the car and helped her get in...most productive cinco de mayo hands down
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
im at work. we just had a random 14-year-old amish girl come in and gift us with cinnamon rolls as thanks for letting her use the bathroom. i dont even know.
Post breakup Disney World may be my best idea ever! Tinkerbell just grabbed my dick and gave me a kiss! This really is the happiest place on earth!
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
A log hopped out of the fireplace and caught the carpet on fire. Good summary of this election if you ask me.
we didn't even throw knives this time! it was just the carrot peeler
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
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