at a bar with my ex girlfriend.. both men AND WOMEN are hitting on her.. and not one has even looked at me
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
I just woke up with a bunch of French fries in my hand and a chocolate shake balancing on my pillow. Lovely.
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
Can we go to Home Depot next week? Drunk Kim broke my toilet with a hammer.
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
I woke up with the Dorothy costume at my ankles, both sparkly red shoes on, and clutching ToTo....we're not in Kansas anymore, dude
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
Randomize
