The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
I realize that when i start making 24-themed music videos in my head to the song 'love is a battlefield' that i really need to get out more
It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
So some girl kept staring at me and giving me these weird looks. That's when I realized she could probably hear the Mulan soundtrack playing on my iPod...
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
I'm gonna write a song for the kids called "you're systematically killing your mother". In it I will explain that my recent hypertension and increase in smoking is due to them being dicks
I just found out two girls I dated met each other, bonded over how much they hate me, started dating and are gonna get married soon.
If I could tell my younger self three things it would be: 1. Smoke a lot more weed 2. Have a lot more sex 3. Own a good set of pots and pans
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
Randomize
