Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
Women are like Alzheimers patiens. You can compliment them a million times in a day, but the next day is always a wash, you have to start all over.
I showered today. Officially upgrading myself to useless.
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
When I was with my girlfriend I was averaging 1 random hookup a week. In the 2 months I've been single I haven't got any. I think I need her back.
You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors....
to instagram or to not instagram the picture i took of when i shit in the urinal
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
I told him if he ever gets a "wink" text from me after 10:00pm to assume I really mean "we should be hooking up by 2:30am"
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
Best line overheard at the bar: "This is the last time I'm shaving my ass for him...I mean we just broke up".
HOW DID ALL OF US MISS THE OBVIOUS: I'LL SHAKE YOUR SPEARE
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
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