just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
She's planning a December wedding, I'm planning on a June breakup.
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
and then after the older sorority girl asked me his name she said "he gave me the rest of his mcdonalds and I decided to go home with him. it was the best that I could hope for my night"
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
What's the protocol for doing tequila shots at a baseball game when you're chaperoning for a church group? You know, hypothetically.
Randomize
