Take a Tylenol with a HUGE glass of water before you pass out, you'll thank me in the morning.
i dony have tylonal but i had a snickers and popcorn and a bottle of water and i am.. brushing my teeth!
i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
I am currently sitting on a candy bar to warm it up cause it was in the fridge so I can eat it while watching the last song and smoking weed by myself
Any night you end up on the couch next to the trash can with a bag of white wine on your head is a rough night.
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
It'll be a romanticized airport meeting until I'm judged for sitting on his face in the terminal
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
Deciding whether to take my sex toys home for Christmas will be the biggest decision I make this holiday season
My roommate randomally bought me two bags of pretzels. Worst "Sorry you can hear me fucking my boyfriend everynight" gift ever.
Randomize
