I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
I just baptized the girl next to me. LONG LIVE THE CHURCH OF VODKA
Found out it was only pneumonia. We celebrated hydrocodone cough syrup. Two long island ice teas at lunch and the random white powder we found in her purse. Mother of the year award.
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
im single, its not even nine am on Valentine's day and I've already gotten laid. suck it relationships
You're wearing pigtails and giving away our kitchen appliances. Clearly, you're drunk.
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
Randomize
