You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
Houston, we have a squirter
Apparently after taking body shots off of a guy i haven't seen since 1st grade, i ate a stick of butter, showed everyone my tampon string, and fell off the boat. my uggs belong to the sea now
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
hey remember that mom you brought home from the bar last month... she is currently driving me back to her place. turning my phone off now.
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
Our group of friends now have more broken bones than reasonable excuses for why they're broken.
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
I'm smoking in a kimono on the couch. Bring me gin.
I smell like playdoh, sex, and ruined lives. I love the weekend
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
Randomize
