I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
She's currently upstairs fucking her boyfriend while I am downstairs making them a sex playlist watching her boyfriend's Weiner dog and large Boxer try and mount each other. Marvin Gaye is playing. This is the ultimate third wheel fail.
When I see myself in tank tops and push up bras I seriously wonder why I'm not President.
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
I'm eating lunchables with a glass of wine while I FaceTime the guy I lost my virginity to.
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
I'm sorry that you wanted to get laid and I all I did was play with your new cat instead.
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
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