that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
so remember that time i slept over and came home in the morning to realize i left my vibrator next to the faucet for parents and brothers to see? this is worse
I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
He finally admitted that he was drunk when I asked him how he got the rug burn on his chin and he replied "the worm contest"
This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
Like fighting the continuous urge to sing Neil diamond "coming to America" kinda fucked up right now
You called me and said "Aidan's unconscious" to which he said "I'm conscious, I'm conscious pilot"
He was filled with the holy spirit. And vodka.
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
Randomize
