i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
3pm strippers are depressing
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
Shit. I'm suppose to call the bank but I'm too high to talk numbers.
I need you to know that everytime my toddler does the downward facing dog in the nude I think about the night you and your dude fell in love.
Woke up this morning naked, wrapped in a bath mat with a wad of singles on the table. I'm calling it a win.
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
the fact that I can still put my shoes on is a testament to the fact that I can outdrink these bros
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
Randomize
