quit re-tweeting John McCain's tweets
I just heard a mom tell her toddler son "shut the fuck up. Don't ask me to buy you shit when i'm taking u to go see some fucking animals" welcome to the bronx.
My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
i just defriended some girl because according to her status she "doesn't give a fuck about shark week."
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
I feel like a Europe failure cause I'm coming home from the club at 3:30 and so many people are just arriving... Wtf? 3:30am People! Drink earlier!
It's a Tuesday.
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
I'm in the fetal position watching the little mermaid and trying not to die. When do you come home?
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
Randomize
