Remind me to never go to the bar with your Asian friends again. I need to be able to read or pronounce what I'm drinking.
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
We ran out of ice cubes so I used ice cream. Everyone thought that was the plan all along. I just went with it.
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
Randomize
