We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
i just ate two sandwiches and am debating booty calling my landlord
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
Stealing vibrators from Walmart together was when I realized you'd be my Maid of Honor.
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
life lesson #151: dont let people go batshit crazy and stab you in the knee
i will live by this rule
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
I made a White Russian but saw how early it was and decided to substitute it for milk in my lucky charms. This is what it means to be an adult.
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
Randomize
