??? When I first met her at the bar, she told me she was 23. After I bought her 3 shots of tequila, she told me she was really only 21. When we went back to my house, she said she was really only 19. She's still sleeping next to me butt naked. I'm afraid if she opens her mouth again I could be looking at 10 years.
Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
I really need to stop drunk texting. My one night stand just agreed to go roller skating.
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
I woke up in a poorly constructed blanket fort on a strange office floor covered in rug burns and champagne. How was your night?
You sent me a cat video and you screaming drunkenly in my background
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
Yeah. I'm so over work, that I'm not even satisfied pretending to work anymore. I just flat out want to go home. Fuck this job
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
Randomize
