Get your hand out of your ass!
how did you know my hand was in my ass? Guess where my other hand is..?
In your belly button
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
How did you even find out?
Because you came up to me and said "I just fucked in the bathroom."
Oh.
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
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