And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
I just got a get of my turf look from a hooker. Apparently, Ninja Turtles T-shirt+Jeans+Flip-Flops=Hooker Gear. Woot.
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
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