I woke up and she had breakfast in bed for me
RUN RUN RUN RUN
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
Know what's awesome? Flying a mini helicopter while you shit.
Drunk puking in my bathtub has plugged it up for the third time this year. I hate these calls to my landlord.
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
My bad man. I was at a strip club, and apparently it's like a big deal to take your phone out in one of those places.
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
He told me to be a woman and make him dinner. So I threw a bagel at him and went out to dinner.
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
Randomize
