don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
My dog fell asleep in his puke last night. He's only 5 weeks old and has more in common with my friends than I do.
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
I'm going to need your assistance. I cannot walk back to the house in a bear costume.
there is a dorito bag in my car full of my mouth blood
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
I am in a hotel room with 10 people. John is in bed eating an industrial sized pan of mashed potatoes. I think a non insignificant number of people saw my nipples.
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
I knew it was you who came home last night because no one else would walk in at 3 am and start microwaving a burrito
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
Some girls wake up to good morning texts. I wake up to pictures of an angry Shrek getting a blowjob.
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
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