If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
I hope, cuz I was gunna get "celebritory drunk" but now I have to get "I'm disappointed drunk"
I drove 5 hours to see her. She thanked me by getting shitfaced, inviting her boyfriend over, and making me sleep on the couch after I cooked for them and did the dishes. You're right. I'm a fucking doormat.
How do you feel?
Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
Randomize
