she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
Vodka and Eggs at 9:30AM = thank you, America.
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
They have chocolate covered tequila candy at work. This is not a drill. May be drunk by noon.
You used the best tools you had at your disposal.
Slutty, slutty tools.
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
I'm always drunk lately
Now I'm in a game of hide and seek in Sears
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
I have the WORST hangover. Pretty sure my liver fell out while taking a dump. THAT bad.
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
Randomize
