I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
It took him longer to undo my bra than he lasted..
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
so apparently mom and dad slept together on the first date
i guess it runs in the family.
Weekdays seemed more exciting when I had a drinking problem. Like I had something to look forward to at night.
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
I think he thought I was too drunk to handle his parrot
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
I stole a block of cheese from the party last night and put it in my purse but I got so drunk that I left my purse on the floor and my dog ate it.
Randomize
