You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
my mom hid the smirnoff from me. this is the most fucked up game of hide and seek EVER
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
So she just had an emotional breakdown over a birthday card with a peacock on it. Yeah. She's pretty drunk, but we made it home safely.
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
I never truly understood the phrase ball is life until I started having to balance NBA finals and all these men with balls i'd like to handle.
So I had Xanax for breakfast & I'm probably going to fuck my tennis instructor.
Randomize
