WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
Heyyyy darlin are you busy?
Why hello drunk Jake. It's sober Sarah, I'll tell drunk Sarah you booty called. She'll probably be around tomorrow night.
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
He tried to write down the address for the cab on half a bagel.
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
I just saw a fat chick ask the bartender to top her corona off with grenandine cuz she has a "sweet tooth" no that's diabetes fatty
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
I'm sitting in the breakroom facing a very large sign that says "inappropriate workplace behaviors", and i can't help but feel like it is directed at me
New war strategy! The ex-girlfriend of my ex-girlfriend is now my twice a week booty call!
Is there a reason drunk me put drunk you's phone in the freezer?
My diet fell off the wagon when I began texting the pizza delivery guy my location on frat row.
Did you put my shoes in the freezer.
Nope. I did however put them in the kiddie pool you pissed in in the living room before Tyler put them in the freezer. Ass hole.
Randomize
