drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
so I told him I hadn't been laid since Bush was president. Right after he cums, he says "Welcome to the Obama Administration".
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
Oh my god I peed in a park last night and then tried to set off fireworks with a group of middle-aged men
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
Who told you that acid and Jurassic World was a good idea?
dont remember, but I'm pretty sure I was convinced that the hybrid dinosaur was satan the whole time. It was actually very spiritual
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
You threw away your W2 to make more room in your purse for liquor.
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
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