He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
I don't even want to go. i just want to be a hermit and live in a cave with an elephant that pisses vodka
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
I vaguely remember trying to exfoliate my face with your leg hair. Sorry about that.
After giving a back rub to someone in the bathroom of the theater, he ripped an "employees must wash hands" sign off the wall to prove that he could and proceeded to hang it up in his house.
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
Randomize
