I just had to explain to the pharmacy cashier that the Plan B and thank you notes I was buying were not related.
i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
After giving the pizza guy directions you told him to look for the big stupid looking kid outside in purple
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
whatever. i don't care. i just want to be drunk wrapped in an american flag.
I got a dollar bill stuffed into my bra on two separate occasions by two separate guys simply for having boobs. I feel like somewhere god is patting himself on te back while pointing at me goin "you're welcome dude." easiest two bucks I ever made.
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
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