does your mom think i'm crazy? i just realized i played both the gay dad and the ex-jew card tonight. i blame the wine
I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
on the way home the dog started throwing up her bone in the car..so naturally i started to puke too
The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving...
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
Blackout me just wants to pee on sober me's dreams. Literally.
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
Today I had sex and flossed at the same time. My relationship goals have been exceeded.
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
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