Too much gin, very little bucket
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
just woke up to find an unpeeled banana, with a condom on, halfway into my vagina. this better not be you trying to be funny
The EMTs said they would give me as many blankets as I wanted if I didn't pee in the ambulance. They even turned on the sirens.
How do people deal with hangovers? I literally want to eat my own face.
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
I don't know if should be sitting on a toilet or kneeling in front of it
You had 10 drinks. On a first date.
I just masterbated then started bawling.
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
I need to stop acting like a porn star that isn't getting paid
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
Randomize