hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
She said my new name was "ranch" because I "looked delicious"
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
I need a priest, doctor, and therapist after this weekend.
You came walking in the backyard at 10am, in cowboy boots, a new shirt, and had no money,....we lost you for 15 hours....i think you just need a camera crew, or an assistant. IMPRESSED!
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
Guess who just stumbled into work hungover, wearing yesterday's clothes, covered in hickeys and glitter, and carrying a giant bottle of rum in her purse.
I just took plan B at work.
This is the greatest story of all time.
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