absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.
He turned off the music when i walked in and introduced me to everyone. then they gave me jager and made me chug it while holding a giant purple dildo. everything resumed when i finished
And I swear to god I'll divorce you if you so much as say a single sentence in Yoda talk in our bedroom. I may be a nerd but that's just fucking creepy
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
He was jealous of me and threatened by me. I'm like, just cause I could fuck your girlfriend doesn't mean I'm going to
She's not even my type. She doesn't have a penis or a drug problem
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
It's not Christmas until you get a photo from an ex wearing a Santa hat and red boxers... And then you just respond with, "nope."
My boss couldn’t find her phone so she asked me to call it and when I found it the screen said Fuck Toy was calling. I’m very much okay with this
Randomize
