dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
did you violate me with a mr sketch marker when i passed out? i just peed and wiped purple and it smelled like grape. i need to get to the bottom of this...
Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
I've taken a shot every five minutes for the past twenty. His valentines cupcakes are going to be a fucking delicious vodka induced mess. Thinking about putting vodka in this next batch. I'm the best girlfriend.
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
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