yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
Dont be alarmed when you find the maintenance guy passed out on your couch. I didn't to explain why I was there so I offered him a drink, I dont know what happened after that.....
Single person behavior: I wanted a cookie but was too lazy to make or go buy any, so I let cookie dough ice cream melt and ate all the chunks. Pantsless.
Guess who won a bet and gets to name it Optimus prime if it's a boy
Nevermind. Totally worth it.
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
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