Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
I stayed up for hours making sure you didnt pass out in a mountain of your own puke. But when I heard you yell AWWWW FUUCCKK, somehow I knew everything would be ok
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
Had a booty call cancel on me tonight. Said he hurt his back. So this is what single and 30-something is like. Suck.
My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
I decided to let him keep the rest of my good weed as an "I'm sorry for being a drunk ass ho" consolation prize.
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
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