So then I told him that only a restaurant managed by a florida fan could run out of ketchup
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
I'm gonna let my dick speak for itself from now on. Seriously, it's always recruiting for me even after 6 hours of drinking.
He challenged me to a drink off, I couldn't just say no. It was a matter of pride really.
And as he was cursing your name from the bathroom you were ordering yourself another drink on his tab. The poor bastard had no clue you were a pro drunk
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
I am so not sober enough to have a 5 minute conversation in Spanish
Maybe life is about finding the person you DO want to cuddle with after they rail you like a porn star
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
Randomize
