Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
Just toasted a glass of brandy with my own reflection to my dimples. Why are you not here?
Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
I was about to take him home and fuck his brains out but then the police came and arrested him for the stolen credit card he had been buying me drinks with all night...
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
It's scary that my vibrator is a dangerous weapon. I want a new one.
I lost my wallet so I paid for my cab ride home with a sausage sandwich I found in my purse. Must have thought it was my wallet.
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
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