I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
Question: why is there a dildo glued to my kitchen table?
I wish I could tape me & him having sex. Not for pornographic reasons, just for comic relief.
how many times in life can you be kicked out of a pizza buffet for vomiting on the food and insulting small children
the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night
I'm in Target and the lady in front of me is buying three Summer's Eve douches, a box of fishsticks and a giant bottle of vodka. The sad thing is I get it.
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
Okay, new plan. Get drunk, eat breadsticks. It's going to be great.
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
Randomize
