Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
I want you more than these girls want KFC
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
You were stoned out of your mind. We were eating cold cuts and you wouldn't shut up about how it was the wettest meat you'd ever felt in your life.
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
When we got home I apparently addressed everyone as 'peasant' since it was my birthday, this followed by me demanding for my "peasants to wash me".
Update: just imagined being dirty talked to in an Irish brogue and I think my vagina became a sentient being.
I opened the door, threw up on the street, wiped my mouth and flashed a thumbs up to all of the cars behind us and kept on driving
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
Randomize
