He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
I just saw a bunch of drunk old guys riding on the side of a modified old fire truck yelling at cars and smoking while they looked for parking...promise we will be just like them when we grow up?
I'm craigslisting fire trucks as we speak
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
He brought me Plan B in the snowstorm.
A+ 👏🏼
If its not for food we ain't going out.
Randomize
