So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
im still trying to figure out who put the honey mustard in the blender then put the entire blender into the freezer
I don't think he wanted to hear that my most serious relationship was my 1 1/2 year fuck buddy... I think he figured out that's where he's heading
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
Dude at the bar last night came into the bathroom, drop kicked the stall open and start saying lines from happy Gilmore as he was shitting, "go in your home! Are you too good for your home?!"
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
I think I gotta smoke less weed, I'm getting to lazy to fuck my girlfriend
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