You don't have asthma, your pregnant
I tried to pay my bar tab with my gym membership card. Twice.
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
Semen is not good for contacts.
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
i don't think fitbit tracks "flipping the fuck out" as activity.
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
I'm sorry I crashed your motorcycle and watched you get robbed from a rooftop. Will you please come back or at least drop off my shoes?
Randomize
