whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
I had a long pep-talk with my penis that ended in "I love you, I'll try harder and I'm sorry."
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
then my best friend's brother, boyfriend, and future bro in law showed up at the bar. they asked who i was there with. didn't know if "a 40 year old man" or "my 5th grade teacher" was better answer.
So then the officer asked you how you were getting home and you told him "very carefully"
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
Obama is so hot when he ends wars.
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
I don't judge her for getting booty calls at 2 in the morning, so she can't judge me for staying in friday nights and putting spray cheese on pringles.
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
I have vodka and explosives. For once, we can blow something up that isn't a blow-up doll.
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
Man, it's really obvious that I was either handcuffed or tied up last night. Either way, not something you'd want coworkers knowing.
Randomize
