Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
I wish they made portable blow up dolls for girls.
It's called a dildo, genius. Go to sleep.
Either she got face surgery at midnight, or i need to stop drinking...
well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
It's not Christmas until you get a photo from an ex wearing a Santa hat and red boxers... And then you just respond with, "nope."
He tried to kiss me in the middle of hooking up... it was a deal breaker. I got off him and left.
So making out with chicks at the bar is fine and dandy, but your booty call can't kiss you? You have the strangest fucking rules...
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
Randomize
