Im listening to a jazz version of dick in a box.
im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
Ur gonna wake up early as dick tomorrow to do some responsible shit but im the one up at 3 am right now cooking brats soaked in keystone light so fuck your falling asleep ass bitch
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
Randomize
