now everythime i write "i'm" in my phone my tap9 spells out "i'm-never-drinking-again". It's trying to remind me
We need to get cat food
Nevermind, the cat will eat lucky charms
My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
My phone has started autocorrecting "monogamy" to "monogamish"
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
Randomize
