At least we lost an hour tonight! Less time to make a fool of myself
I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
i make up for being a shitty girlfriend by being amazing in bed.
Well today was Thanksgiving Anti-Miracle Daydrinkathon so I had to be drunk by 2pm
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
This bar smells like your ball sack. In a weird way I miss you.
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
Randomize
