I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
I made it to work. Still drunk. Definitely pregnant.
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
Randomize
