Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
So baked. Thought the twigs on the sidewalk were caterpillars with the ability to harden in self defense. Had to pick one up to be sure.
I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
He just pushed one of his testicles up into his stomach and called himself lance armstrong. I can't make this shit up.
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
Was just messaged by someone in a Power Ranger suit on OkCupid... Figured you would approve
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
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