My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
between my moustache and how drunk I am it will be a miracle if I get laid tonight.
They found an open window, climbed through and proceeded to arrest half the party. These campus cops are like fucking ninjas.
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
Look on the bright side. Now you know the number for poison control.
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
I literally just got propositioned by a sugar daddy.
OUR DREAMS ARE BEING REALIZED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
Are you kidding me????? How bout, IM SORRY FOR CALLING YOU 16 TIMES AND LEAVING YOU A TWO MINUTE VOICEMAIL OF MYSELF THROWING UP.
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
I'm eating tortillas right now. Like not cooked tortillas. Someone is playing the guitar. Man with bandana.
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
Randomize
