Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
it was like getting a handjob from mrs. butterworth
So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
Any questions about why there was a scuba tank chilling in the hot tub this morning?
There is nothing scarier than watching yourself breathe in the mirror while on shrooms.
I accidentally lit my hair on fire and we broke the bed. How was your night?
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
He walked in at 7am saying that the police had his shoes and phone because he's being investigated for attempted auto theft.
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
Good god you suck at this wake up call. Seriously. If I can, after consuming enough vodka to subdue a russian soldier, muster up enough motivation to call you in the morning and send you naked pictures the least you could do is pick up.
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize
