They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
My fridge is empty and all of my food is in the bathtub. Just.. Why?
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
I haven't been single on my birthday for 7 years. If you don't get me laid tonight, your best friend/wing woman status will be revoked.
Randomize
