I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
I need hand sanitizer and jesus.
its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
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