It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
Why did I wake up holding food tongs?
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
Tom is laying in a bathtub filled with ice pretending to be a polar bear.
I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park"
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
I just had to explain to an 70+ year old lady what 'coitus' was. This was not in my job description.
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
Morning! Got your 3am VM to remind you to get up for spin class and also confirm you were not murdered by the sketchy guy at brunch yesterday. So this is your literal and metaphorical wake up call.
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
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